


My Dearest

by KibaSin



Series: Past Time [19]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-18
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-20 14:10:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/888175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KibaSin/pseuds/KibaSin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She promised to love him no matter what. Bankotsu is happy, even in death, to find that she is true to her word. Even if she was within the hands of the man who'd had him slain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Dearest

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any material belonging to Takahashi Rumiko.

* * *

There was once a beautiful maiden and a mercenary who were deeply in love. It was said that the maiden was of a wealthy family, yet kind and loving to those who crossed her path, whether they were human or demon. It was said that the mercenary carried a huge blade, which had killed nearly a hundred humans and demons. It was said that though the mercenary had planned to kidnap the maiden in the beginning, he had fallen in love. It was said that the maiden fell in love as well.

There was once a bastard prince who wished to have the maiden whose heart was already claimed. It was said that this prince, though undeserving of his father's throne upon his deathbed, became jealous of the love between the two. He wanted the maiden for his own and would do anything in order to have her, even if it broke her heart. It was said this prince was nothing in strength compared to the mercenary, thus he sat in wait to find a way to steal fair maiden's heart and thrust the mercenary into bitter darkness.

There was once a servant girl who worked closely with the maiden and her lover, the man she wished so dearly to marry one day. It was said that this servant fell in love with the handsome mercenary and went to seduce him during the night. It was said that the mercenary shoved her aside and told her never to speak with him again, thus breaking her fragile heart. In bitterness it was said the servant tried to kill the beautiful maiden, only for the maiden's father to have stepped inside in time to save her.

There was once the beautiful maiden's father who found out about his daughter's lover. It was said that within a rage he threw his daughter's would-be-killer against a wall and turned upon her. It was said that he became grief stricken that his daughter would never be able to marry because she was no longer pure. It was said that the beautiful maiden's father slapped her across the face, and called her a "whore". It was also said that the beautiful maiden's father took the dagger that would have been her end from the unconscious servant's hand and crudely cut off her long black hair.

There was once the beautiful maiden's sister who heard of her disgraceful deed. It was said that day in and day out the beautiful maiden's sister called her disgraceful names. It was said the sister was jealous of her sister because she had caught the attention of the bastard prince, the man she'd tried to seduce herself. It was said that the sister had known all along about the maiden's lover and often told her she did not deserve such loyalty from a man when he returned.

There was once the beautiful maiden's mother who wept upon hearing her daughter's story. It was said that though she was pleased her daughter's mercenary returned her feelings she was ashamed of her daughter's actions. It was said that during the night she retreated to her secret chambers in order to cast a spell, hoping that her daughter never got pregnant, producing a bastard child. Secretly, it was said, she wished for the mercenary's death. It was said that one night the mother, though weeping, craved the crime her daughter had committed into the beautiful, screaming, maiden's shoulder.

There was once the bastard prince who learned of the maiden's stolen innocence. It was said the prince became jealous, and sent soldiers for the mercenary's head. It was said the mercenary killed his would-be assassins, and returned to his maiden's side. It was said that one-day the bastard prince had had enough and went to the maiden's father to ask for her hand. It was said that still in grief the maiden's father agreed and simply handed the maiden over for marriage.

There was once the handsome mercenary who went to kill the bastard prince and have his maiden returned to him. It was said that he returned to the castle gates with the six members of the small band he had organized. A band that had become known as  _The Band of Seven_ , it was said. It was said, however, that the bastard prince had been ready for the mercenary and his companions. It was said the mercenary went to battle in order to save his fair maiden…

… _And died_.

He sighed, tilting his head as he thought of the way he had been once again telling his story over to himself. Over and over again he tortured himself this way, telling his story with 'there once was' and 'it was said', because the story was now over. His maiden was lost to him and he was alone, dead, while she still lived. He'd refused to look through the mirror others used in order to look upon her beauty, knowing that she had probably bore that bastard a child by now. It had been five years, after all. She had probably forgotten about him.

His dear Kagome was probably happy in the arms of her  _prince_.

He knew there was another part of the story, before the time that her mother had craved "whore" into her shoulder, but after the time that he'd fallen in love. She'd promised to always love him, to never forget him should he die. She'd told him that though she might marry to another after a few years of him not returning, she would never forget him. No matter how many times she'd told him that, though, he still couldn't believe her. Even if it wasn't her fault she had been given to that bastard, Shigekazu, the lord, though everyone referred to him as the prince, of a huge estate.

He could never blame her, though. No, for they'd simply been outnumbered by Shigekazu's soldiers. They'd come saying that they killed too many over the years and had become too powerful. Once overpowered they'd been taken to Shigekazu's estate and had had their heads sliced off before Kagome's eyes. The last thing he saw was her trying to force her way out of Shigekazu's arms, tears streaming down her face as she called out to him.

" _Bankotsu,"_  he remembered her whispering into his ear as they made love. Coated in passion and want, yet the love weaved within it was enough to make his heart melt. She'd always been able to do that, no matter how much he tried to make her power over him wane. Still, even if he could hear her soft voice during the night; that did not mean that he wished to see her now. She was nothing now that Shigekazu had gotten his claws into her.

Nothing but a woman he'd once felt strong emotions for. Besides that was merely a memory to get rid of her terror filled face and screams as she tried to reach out to him… only to end up grasping air each time. The pain in her eyes when she realized that she would not be able to save him, that he was going to be lost to her. The sorrow he'd seen when she realized he'd no longer be able to sleep beside her, to laugh with her, to once again take her to the meadow she'd so loved. Even if it was only a memory, it was a strong one and it would probably haunt him for the rest of eternity.

He told himself over and over again that it didn't matter, that she was far beyond his reach now, but the place where his heart once resided still ached. As if the distant memory brought forth the emotions that should have left him upon the day of his death. What were spirits supposed to feel besides regret, anyway? He didn't know and he didn't care. He merely wanted to know why his heart, or perhaps his mind creating it, felt like it was in terrible pain. So much so that it would soon burst and there would be nothing left.

In his mind he could remember her falling into his arms, smiling happily that he had once again returned to her side. He could have easily walked away and never returned yet he'd continued to return to her as if nothing else mattered. Not even his brothers', his band of mercenaries, had ever truly known where he'd gone once he decided he was leaving for a short time. He'd never told them, for the one thing on his mind was simple and he'd wanted it fulfilled at that time: he'd wanted to feel his woman's soft flesh, to hear her speak his name, and to once again defy those around her by corrupting her more. His brothers' would have understood should they have known, but it was his little secret from them, one he'd planned to keep until the right moment.

At first that was the only reason he'd return for her, to simply corrupt her. The only reason he'd wished to woo the daughter of such a stuck up snob. Then he'd gotten to know her, and everything started to change. First he'd felt lonely without her smile, and then he'd found that he wished to be with her more and more. Not just to feel her naked flesh, but to merely know that she was there. He'd once thought of asking for her hand, but he had been a mercenary, a man who'd killed nearly a two thousand living beings with his Banryuu. Her father would have looked at him and laughed, telling him that he was not worthy of his daughter. Her father never would have considered her feelings or his own. The situation had been nothing but sore and he'd known that from the start.

Jakotsu had once asked him what he saw in his beautiful maiden. He'd told him that he saw a shimmering soul that wanted to merely love and be loved in return. That he saw mirror-like eyes that told him exactly what was happening, and a loving heart that wished to make him happy. He'd smiled and added that he saw a passionate body that wished to spread across anything for him when he needed her. Jakotsu had seemed confused but laughed, and he'd laughed with him, even if he knew Jakotsu had thought it was a joke. Jakotsu just never understood women, which was probably what drove him to men.

Of course, deep down he knew that somehow Jakotsu had understood him. Yes, he'd laughed at the thought, but that wasn't the point. Jakotsu, to some level, had understood him and had tried to help him. Every time he'd left to go to see his beautiful maiden his brother would make sure that nothing went wrong. Like Jakotsu took up his role as leader at the moment that he was needed, even if he was sometimes distracted by something with a handsome face. All right, a lot more than just sometimes, but there was nothing else he could expect from his brother.

Still, that was all in the past. He was dead now. There was nothing he could do to change everything. He  _could_  have asked for her hand. He  _could_  have simply stolen her away from her family. He  _could_  have managed to overcome the pain he'd felt and managed to save her. He  _could_  have done many things, like telling her how much he truly loved her, but he _hadn't_. He  _couldn't_. He was dead.

The ache in his chest began to increase, his eyes shifting around the place that was supposed to be their paradise. He'd been so certain all his life that when he died there would be nothing but darkness, something he probably deserved. It just proved how many times he was proven wrong; it proved just how many things he could be proven wrong about. Still, the ache from being away from Kagome was beginning to burn, almost like it wanted him to forget about his promise and gaze at her. At least one last time to make sure that his suspicions were indeed true. That she could be swayed into the arms of another by simple trinkets, like he'd often told himself would happen if he were away for too long.

Bankotsu sighed, bringing a hand up to gently part his released hair, having felt that he didn't need the binding anymore. He was confused and depressed, even when he was supposed to be merry and simply happy all the time. The feeling of this place certainly made him want to be that way, but there was something else. Like he needed to do something more before he could finally find true peace. He felt as though he'd never be able to dance and drink with his brothers' until he finally did something, something to make the ache go away. He had a feeling that it involved the woman he loved while living. He was certain.

 _Damn it,_  he cursed,  _I'm going to regret this afterward. I just know it. That damned Shigekazu has probably already forced her to bare him a child, or stolen her heart. God knows she has too much fucking love to share._  He glared at the ground;  _she should love one person and one person only!_ A cold feeling swept through his body as he thought about how that person probably hadn't truly been him.

He needed to know. He  _wanted_  to know.

Telling himself one last time that this was a bad idea, since he'd often told himself he'd never gaze upon her face again—at least not until she joined him among the ranks of the dead—he began to move. He'd often refused to use the mirror, but he knew that there was nothing else he could do at this moment. He wouldn't blame Kagome if she'd bore a child, no, but he could begin blaming her if she'd allowed her heart to be swayed away from him. That was what he truly wanted to do. Then he wouldn't force himself to torture his soul with their story for he'd know that she was no longer his woman. He'd know that he had lost her to that bastard.

It didn't take him long to find the mirror, the circular item merely held by a small stand. The silver coloring and designs meant nothing to him, only the fogged over surface, black treads sliding over the haze every once in a while. He gazed at it, before turning to make sure that no one was watching him. He'd be damned if anyone got to saw what he was about to watch, especially if his love was in a state of undress, or perhaps fucking that bastard. Either way it was for his eyes and his eyes alone.

Turning back to the mirror, Bankotsu lifted his hand and willed the mirror to show him what he wanted to see. He'd seen many others do it, and an older spirit had showed them how to use everything. Not that spirits needed much, but this was something that allowed them to stay sane. Something that allowed them to go on until he or she was chosen to be reincarnated, simply disappearing from the ranks of the dead and entering the womb of the woman. This kept them so that the soul was still peaceful and happy, watching those they'd known in life, even if they truly didn't need it.

Sighing, he lifted his hand and watched as the mirror steamed over with a light shade of blue, and gave a sizzling sound as it disappeared from his sight. In place of it was the back of a bathing woman, alone at the moment, until she turned to show her strange, yet stunning sapphire eyes. A strange coloration for a strange woman. Her mass of raven hair fell over her shoulder as she moved toward the end of the human made hot spring, before turning and lowering herself into the water once more. Bankotsu felt his breath catch in his throat, knowing for a fact that everyone on her was exactly the way he'd left it… except for a small cut on the side of her cheek.

Watching in silence, he felt as if he could reach out and touch her. To once again feel her skin rubbing against his as he sought to pleasure himself, as well as trying to make sure she enjoyed herself in their coupling. He could imagine her opening her mouth in a breathless gasp, completely thrown for a loop as he…

He shook his head, turning his concentration back onto the mirror when he heard the door open, sliding to the side to show the bastard himself. His maiden obviously wasn't pleased, stiffening a bit in the steaming water that surrounded her. It pleased him to see her reaction, obviously either surprised to see Shigekazu interrupting her bath, or tensing at the fact that he was in her presence. He hoped it was the latter, or he could already feel jealousy at the fact that Shigekazu might begin shredding his clothing and his beautiful maiden might begin pleasing him with her body. Like she'd done so many times with him…

Shigekazu did not look pleased, nor did he look like he was there to spend time with the woman he'd married. In fact, he looked quite enraged. "Woman, you will come with me and calm your son. It would seem that no matter how many times I try the boy is reluctant to acknowledge the fact that I am his father and he should listen to my commands," he hissed.

Kagome turned to glare at him; "If you would spend more time with him then perhaps he wouldn't try to gain attention from you."

The lord looked ready to stomp his feet and demand that  _she_  now listen to his demands. However, though Bankotsu would have loved to witness such a thing, he knew that Shigekazu would never do it. The bastard would rather die before doing that, even in front of the woman he'd obviously bedded many times. "Do not put the blame on me, wench," Shigekazu snarled. "You're the one who keeps putting it into his head that I am  _not_  his rightful father. That the blasted man who corrupted you before our marriage is, instead of I."

"I do no such thing," Kagome replied, stiffening more.

The man referred to as a prince snorted; glaring at the woman he'd taken as his wife. "Do not tell me such lies, wench!" he looked like he wanted to begin yelling his head off. "I know for a fact you're still trying to get over the fact that your lover was killed before you could run off with him. It is not my fault you stayed to long and allowed everyone to know of your shameful deed. You're lucky I still wished to have you as my wife after I learned of your crimes."

Kagome looked like she was on the verge of tears, though she glared angrily at her husband. "It is not wrong to love, Shigekazu," she said. "I did nothing wrong."

Shigekazu snapped at her words. "Then why can't you love me? Why are you so head-over-heels for a dead man? Tell me, Kagome, for I really wish to know! Tell me why you still think of him as I please you! Tell me why you never accept the fact that I am merely trying to make you feel like the hime you are whenever I give you gifts! Why?"

If Bankotsu didn't know better, he would have thought Shigekazu was beginning to look like a broken man. Anger swelled in his chest as he thought about what was happening, why Shigekazu was yelling at his beautiful maiden. Shigekazu had fallen in love, his lust changing right under his nose… but Kagome wouldn't love him in return. He felt pride at knowing Kagome refused to acknowledge the feelings of another man.

Kagome turned completely toward her husband, standing as straight as she could. "He is not dead to me!" she hissed, her voice beginning to rise. She placed a hand over her heart, "He still lives in me! He shall never die as long I acknowledge the fact that I still love him! I am his and no one, not even you and your  _gifts_ , can change that!"

Shigekazu looked ready to hit her, though he stepped away quickly. "You infuriating bitch. I do not know why I even put up with you and your silly wishes." He turned so that she could not see his hopeful and pained eyes, "Tonight you and that brat shall sleep far away from my chambers, do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Good. Should I find you or the brat you continue to think is the son of your previous lover anywhere near my chambers I shall have him executed. I do not wish to hear your ridiculous pleas, he shall die should I even hear you breathing within my range," he growled. He took one last look at Kagome, still glaring at him from the hot spring and snorted. With that he turned and finally left her, slamming the door as much as he could as it slid close behind him.

Bankotsu watched as Kagome clenched her hands in front of her, watching the door in order to make sure no one came through at that moment. His heart was leaping with joy, knowing that Kagome still loved him. He did not know how long that love would last, but he knew that for now Kagome would continue to love him. True, within time she might come to like Shigekazu, or accept her position, but her heart was his. He held it.

"You do not understand at all," he heard her whisper. "Yoshimitsu is Bankotsu's son." He watched as she began to cry, "I know, Shigekazu, because I knew I was pregnant before I married you. God damn it,  _you_  knew." She was talking to nothing now, but she seemed to want to get the feelings she must have felt to go away. Speaking such things would probably calm her, but they left the man watching her stunned.

The door opened once more to show a small black-haired boy, his thumb in his mouth as he gazed at the crying woman. Instantly the boy began to tear up, moving into the room without shutting the door behind him. His thumb fell to his side as he began running, tears finally coming from his eyes. He reached Kagome, wrapped his small arms around her shoulders, and whimpered, "Please don't cry, mommy. He's just a big… big idiot."

"Yoshimitsu…?"

"Mommy," the boy whispered, trying to get as close as he could to the beautiful maiden. Obviously the words had upset him just as much as they had upset his mother. He brightened when the woman turned toward him, wiping the tears from his eyes, and finally pulled him completely into her arms in the water. Neither of them seemed to care that they were ruining the beautiful haori the boy was wearing, both seeking comfort from one another.

The image faded away completely, Bankotsu feeling lonely once more as he touched the surface of the mirror. She'd been pregnant… He'd never known. He wasn't able to fulfill his position as the boy's father, even though he would have been terrified when he first found out. It left him with an empty mind, his heart wishing that he could be there, yet swelling with happiness at the fact that she loved him. That she was still clinging to his memory in hopes of once again finding him in the next life.

He nodded to himself. That was enough for him at the moment. His family was safe, whether it was with his enemy or not. At least within Shigekazu's care they would be taken care of for the time being. Though he hated to admit it, it left him almost lost, wishing that he was protecting them. Shigekazu had taken his position, and that was the only thing he could be happy about, because Kagome probably would have lost the baby should she have been left in her own home. So many emotions were rushing through him that he didn't notice he accepted this for now, but he vowed that he would find Kagome in the next life, or when she died, and then he would start again.

He wouldn't make the same mistakes again. His dearest deserved that much from him, even if they'd loved each other, because she'd been left all alone with merely his son as her memory. Because he'd left her alone with Shigekazu for his foolishness, and the fact that he shouldn't have rushed into battle with him. He smiled bitterly; he  _shouldn't_  have, but he had.

_I'll make it up to you, Kagome. Someday._

_\--Fin_


End file.
